It is a British movie, I think, about a piano composer, who both loved and hated his own music, due to childhood trauma caused by his father who did not want him to focus on music. This composer had dissociative identity disorder, and when not a composer, he was a music journalist who negatively critiqued his own music.
farcry Answered question Dec 19, 2020
Shine (1995) is somewhat similar.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117631/
farcry Answered question Dec 19, 2020